Complete strangers, random acts of kindness & unsuspecting recipients

It was summer circa 2002. I was in the final year of my undergraduate degree and took it upon myself to present as many technical papers at various engineering symposia around the state of TamilNadu, India. Two reasons: To collect participation &/ award certificates and prize money whenever and wherever possible. On this specific occasion, I happened to be in the town of Karaikudi, TN in Southern India. A couple of classmates and I were presenting at a Symposium at ACGCET (the host college of engineering). This was the time I would be the recipient of a random act of kindness from a stranger.

We left to the conference with just enough money for a one-way bus ticket. Solely fueled by the overconfidence of teenagers in being able to figure out our means for return travel after we made it there! We were banking on winning some prize money (having already won a few of these leading up to this event) to pay for the return ticket! The conference went well. We came in third. Now, we were officially short on return ticket funds!

For an event this size, there were several hundred student participants and a couple of hundred host students. And of course there were many volunteers who were helping streamline the event proceedings. One such volunteer happened to guide us from our lodgings to the event site on a bus. I’m ashamed to say I don’t recall his name or any other details. All I know is he was a student at PSR and was a volunteer at the event. In making conversation, the subject of awards, prize money and our financial pickle came up. He quietly absorbed the information we shared but said nothing else for the rest of the conference.

On our way back, I was panicking about no having enough or any money to make the return trip. No credit cards and no spare cash back then. We wrapped things up and made our way back to the buses. Said our goodbyes to the helpful volunteers, event organizers and the few acquaintances we had made at the event and finally board the university shuttle to the bus station. Suddenly, as the shuttle started moving, the student volunteer who had made our acquaintance and helped guide us through the event that day shoved something into my one of my classmate’s hand. Quickly looking down, we see he had placed Rs.50 (equivalent of $1 now) to cover the cost of a return ticket. I was in shock that a total stranger whom I’d only just met a day before and may most probably never meet again chose to bail me out of my self-inflicted situation. A hurried, strangled ‘thank you’ yelled as the bus sped away from the campus was all we could manage! The donation was promptly used to purchase return tickets.

A selfless, unprovoked act of kindness. Totally random, totally unexpected but permanently etched in my memory.

My analysis after-the-fact:

Listen and learn constantly: I don’t have to be the one talking in every situation. This stranger exhibited the valuable trait of being a silent but observant listener. He quietly absorbed what I said and took it upon himself to act in a well-timed manner.

Altruism does not seek reciprocation: I can do things without expectations of being reciprocated. The bible says in Matthew 6:3 let not the left hand know what the right hand does. So also, we are fully capable of being benevolent humans without advertisement and praise from our fellow human beings. Only the receiver need know what has transpired.

You don’t have to know a person to help them out: Helping our own (friends/family/colleagues) comes naturally. Nothing wrong or weird about it at all. But, there is a certain freedom in knowing we can help out a complete stranger, in paying it forward.

The end does not have to be in sight to perform a random act of kindness: We don’t always or ever need to know where things will go before we pledge to act. Be it an act of service, monetary donation or something else altogether. Not knowing the outcome should not be a limitation on whether we act benevolently. I grew up hearing ‘that’s a sham’, ‘don’t waste your money on xyz organization’, ‘if you donate there, the money never makes it to the ones in need’, ‘that’s drug money you just handed away’. All of these may have been true at some point. But, this has also instilled a hesitation to part with mine. Sometimes, we don’t need to know the end to act.

No act is negligible: The size of the gift/act does not determine the effectivity or impact it may have. In my case, this stranger decided to give me the equivalent of a dollar. He was also a student so I’m sure he gave out of his already thin wallet. He chose to bless me with what he could. Today, the amount seems very small. Two decades ago, it was all I needed to make my return journey. Small acts can have a cascading effect. Random acts do multiply. We could give no matter what (in our want, in our abundance, when life is tough, when life is great). Maybe even be outrageously generous.

Its not about the money: Often we confuse ‘giving’ with monetary donations. Although these are impactful and very tangible, an act of kindness can be anything. It can be money but it can also be a timely word of encouragement, a gentle answer to a difficult question, a good word of commendation, donation of our time to serve, looking out for someone’s safety, being a good public steward, obeying the law… the list goes on. Any act that wouldn’t directly benefit us immediately or ever but requires a sacrifice on our part is a random act of kindness.

Your Turn:

Go ahead. Comment below. I know we’ve all had the kindness of strangers cross our paths. Might not come to mind right away but that one moment when we were pleasantly surprised by a stranger’s action or deed. Something that made us go ‘oh wow. I did not expect that!’ in a good way 🙂