Every day new trends emerge. There are enough parenting books out there to drown us with advice on how to improve parent/child interactions and relationships. With three young kids and a busy life, there are a few things I’ve consciously adopted to continuously improve my relationship with my children. One such thing is mommy/child dates.
What’s the basic concept?
The idea is relatively simple and straight-forward. Just like you would plan, schedule and execute a work event or family trip, this concept involves being intentional and dedicating a certain time to spend with your child.
Why do it?
I know there are several of us who feel like such things shouldn’t be forced/co-erced. But, hear me out.
There are certain aspects of life that can be impulsive and impromptu. As parents we spend a lot of time taking care of our children, making sure they are safe, that their core needs are met, that they eat healthy, get the education/attention they need on a daily basis. However, growing a deeper connection with your children may get lost is the chaos of every day life.
Additionally, we try to juggle work and social obligations constantly. In all this noise and ‘busy’ness, it is very easy to ignore the value of one-on-one time with our loved ones. To take the uncertainty and subsequent procrastination out of the equation, scheduling in time on everyone’s calendars is a great idea. It offers us a better chance at making time for just that segment of time/day to be present with our children.
What are the merits?
There are several pros to the idea. For one, it is an opportunity to slow down, be present with every one on our children individually, to share, connect and grow. It also allows the children to be involved in the planning and selections. You’ll be surprised how much they open up about things that normally don’t feature in every day conversations!
How to do it?
The key is to keep these dates simple. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate, budget-busting outing. Drive-through milkshakes or even library day count!
I’ve got two girls and a boy. A teenager, pre-teen and an elementary schooler. Their different interests coupled with their unique personalities make for very fun dates 🙂
In this post, I wanted to share a few ideas and tips for each of those age groups. I’ve been doing these dates with my kids for a couple of years now and I know what works and doesn’t. The constant in all of this is that the kids are always excited and looking forward to these outings with me. This is both humbling and rewarding to me as a parent.
Ideas for parent/child dates with teenagers
The list of ideas for this age group is literally endless. Teenagers want to be treated like adults and are just bursting with ideas on the subject LOL. Here are some fun ideas. Some are relatively in-expensive while others take a bit of planning and budget:
- Watch a movie – This one just makes sense when you head to the movie theatre to do together 🙂
- Take a cooking class together – If your child is into cooking, this can be a fun way to bond over a common interest.
- Spa day (or half or less) together.
- Museum visit – For the future historian or art enthusiast this is perfect. A full day of walking around a museum learning and hanging out together.
- Make a cooking video together – As straightforward as it sounds. You can cook together and record it!
- Review a restaurant/food group together.
- Race together – If your kids are even moderately interested in movement and exercise, you can pull this one off. It can be as simple as a 3K or 5K. For the more ambitious duo, even a 10K.
- Create a Vlog – You can create a video log of anything that sparks both of your interests like a road trip you recently took, review of a book you recently read or even an unboxing together.
- Remember that cooking video idea above? You can totally string that together with this activity! This is an underrated activity that is both rewarding for the creator and fun for the viewers! that’s how we string a bunch of these ideas together. My teenager did one a couple of years ago of our trip to NYC.
- A weekend trip – Granted that this activity takes a bit more planning and coordination but identifying a once a year time block where you can spend a few days away from home with your child can be golden. We are yet to execute this one but its on the books for the near future!
Ideas for parent/child dates with pre-teens
This is a fun age group where kids are thrilled with things that are a nod to upcoming teenage years. The age where they can feel grown-up and child-like and switch effortlessly between the two. Here are some ideas:
- A library trip – To read, review and critic a favorite author’s book or series
- A trip to the local creamery or bakery – Taking time to enjoy ice-cream or donuts with your child has no downsides ha!
- A spa hour (not a day but just an hour) – A foot massage, a manicure/pedicure or even just to paint nails.
- A weekend lunch date
- Shopping spree – This doesn’t have to be a bank-breaking outing. Just picking out small cosmetic items (lip balm, nail polish or a face mask) to share is just as fun.
- A game of cards (So many fun two person games available). When you really want to steer away from electronic devices, a quick two-person game that doesn’t require much space or setup works great. A short trip to the park or even in the car in a parking lot is all you need to make this happen. Dates can be short interludes sometimes instead of a long-drawn out event. Here are some of our favorites:
- 1) Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza
- 2) Grandpa Beck’s Bees and Bears.
- 3) Spot It.
- (We love every Grandpa Beck game we own so here’s a link to their page on Amazon: Grandpa Beck’s Card Games)
- Picnic at the Park – This activity involves a combination of the ideas listed here. A packed meal or take out from everyone’s favorite sub shop and a card game to enjoy can make a well-spent afternoon.
- School lunch date – Pack a lunch or pick-up some food from your child’s favorite restaurant and head over to their school to spend lunch time with them one day. You can even make this a quarterly/monthly event that you can both look forward to!
- A day trip – Pick a town/city nearby (within a couple of hours). Plan out a couple of locations or landmarks to hit during the day and it can be a memorable day to spend with your pre-teen.
Ideas for parent/child dates with younger children
This age category is probably the easiest to please and find activities for. They expect very little and remember even less! Here are some cost-effective things to try:
- Food related bonding – If your child is interested in food, a monthly lunch/dinner date to try out their favorite food works great. My 9 year old is currently devouring chicken wings of any kind. So, we are working our way through our town trying out chicken wings from local restaurants and rating them against each other.
- Start a book series to read together
- Learn a song together (to sing or to play on a musical instrument)
- Code together (writing basic software code is a very interactive and hands-on thing to try). If your child shows an interest in this area, coding can be absolutely fun to do.
- Hands-On activities – Build something together. Kiwico boxes are ideal for this I’ve found.
Boy vs Girl
Kids are kids and interests can crossover or be common between genders. All these ideas I’ve talked about can work for boys and girls. The goal is to do things that will grow your bond with your child. It makes sense to try out things that interest your child and for it to be fun for both of you. If your girl/boy likes to do martial arts or sew, do that. Nothing needs to be off the table as long as it works for you and yours.
No Rules or Limits
Also, there really is no rule limiting these to one kid per date. Based on their interest, schedules and events you could mix and match.
We’ve done a girls trip with the girls and my sister to NYC. (Like I said earlier, if you want to check my teenager’s Vlog of the trip click here: NYC Trip)
We’ve also done a gymnastics concert with just me and the girls.
And, these aren’t specific to a spouse either. My husband does similar things with them too. Theirs involves burgers, movies and the like..
And finally, how often are these supposed to be? Again, no set rules. I’ve found that scheduling these into our calendars helps us keep them instead of postponing or canceling when other things show up last minute. Being intentional and methodical can definitely help keep these dates. Rotating between siblings, mixing and matching are all ok to do.
So what next
I’ve covered as much as I can think of and given you a few starting ideas on stuff to start with. Hope you have fun using this list, adapting it your family or making your own custom list. Enjoy!
To read more about the origin of my blogging, click here: What’s with the name.
